


It's Not Your Fault You Feel Betrayed

by HeadStrongHeadLights



Series: We're All Suckers For Tragedies [1]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, M/M, Period-Typical Racism, Sort of a character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 14:51:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7537063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadStrongHeadLights/pseuds/HeadStrongHeadLights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Darwin can feel the weight of all the unspoken words hanging between them, settling on his shoulders. As much as he wants to just forgive and forget, there’s just too much to be said that can’t just be brushed off.</i>
</p><p>Darwin comes back and decides to fix whatever's broken between him and Alex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Your Fault You Feel Betrayed

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited. Any glaring mistakes just let me know. I took some serious liberties with Darwin's backstory since we didn't get one in the movie and I don't know the comic character all that well. 
> 
> Warnings; discussions of period typical racism. Strong language.

“Stay. Please.”

His fingers are curled around his wrist, a fire-hot brand against his skin. It’s a touch that should burn, but doesn’t. In the short amount of time they’ve known each other, Alex has become his personal sun and it feels so damn good to feel the light again after being in the dark for so long. 

That being said, Darwin’s almost tempted to say no, to push Alex away as the other man had done to him so many times before. His unexpected return has been met with warmth from everyone else expect from the one person who it mattered the most. Not necessarily cold, wouldn’t go as far as to say unwelcoming, but with a certain resistance that he hadn’t been expecting. He really should say no, has already faced death down once and survived. He doesn’t have the time for needy little boys who don’t know what they want. 

Unfortunately, Darwin’s much too in love to just throw everything away. It’s why he came here in the first place. If he was a smarter man he would stay away. Every once in a while though, his heart ruled his head. 

Darwin watches as Alex seemed to shrink in on himself, his grip loosening as Darwin’s silence stretches on. This isn’t fair. He knows that. But life has never been fair. Not to people like them, not to people like him. 

“Only if you promise to not run again,” Darwin finally concedes. Alex nods, the movement jerky and borderline uncomfortable. The black man frees his wrist, only to grab ahold of the other man’s hand and hold it tight. After a brief moment of hesitation, he feels him squeeze back with equal strength. Too desperate to think about letting go. Darwin doesn’t begrudge him, he feels the same. 

They head up to the roof. 

It’s not much of a surprise that they don’t run into anyone. The mansion is like a ghost town, the memories of people who aren’t even dead still haunting the place with their unwanted presence. Darwin suppresses a shiver. It’s not the most pleasant thought.

They sit down beside each other on the ledge. The fading sunset painting the property with rich golds and oranges, the mid-autumn evening slowly showing her face. An unpleasant reminder with a pretty face of just how much time has passed. 

Darwin can feel the weight of all the unspoken words hanging between them, settling on his shoulders. As much as he wants to just forgive and forget, there’s just too much to be said that can’t just be brushed off. If not for his sake, then for Alex’s, because he can still see the trauma of his ‘death’ weighing on the younger man’s shoulders. 

“I’m sorry,” Alex says. He isn’t even looking at him, staring at his shoes as they hang there, swaying in the breeze. It’s the youngest he’s ever sounded. It’s the oldest he’s ever looked. And Darwin understands that conundrum more than he ever will admit. 

“It’s not your fault,” Darwin replies, as easy as breathing. He’s repeated those words more times than he can actually count, so much so that they’ve lost their meaning. They still ring true. He still believes them. 

“How can it not be my fault? I’m the reason you got hurt,” Alex says, voice breaking on the last word. It’s the most emotion outside of anger and self-loathing he’s ever heard from the other. It’s got him feeling some type of way, one that he can’t quite put a name to. 

Distantly, Darwin gets reminded of a time when he was just Armando and was shown how cold the world was to people like him. What it really meant to get hurt. How cops and regular civilians would look the other way while someone whose skin tone didn’t match theirs bled out on the street like a fucking animal. You could cry for help but nobody would listen. 

It reminded him of going home in Harlem and never feeling safe. Of always looking over his shoulder and knowing that even though he might survive, someone else might not. Someone like anyone else in his family. They might not talk anymore but he prays that someone has their back. You look out for your own because there’s no guarantee that anyone else will. 

He shakes the memories off. That’s not his life right now. Adapt and survive. Just like the name implies. 

“A lot of people get hurt for a lot of reasons pretty boy,” Darwin tells him, leaning back on his hands. “It’s only happened once, it won’t happen again.”

With that, Alex flinches. He twists his fingers, the anxiety coming off of him in waves. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want you to become another casualty of mine.” 

There’s a story there. It reminds Darwin that even though they had been together in the CIA compound (which was a joke by the way. How did they ever think that it would be enough against Shaw? Better question would be why did they dismiss Erik’s warning so quickly but Darwin already knows the answer to that, seen it permanently written in the ink on the metal-bender’s forearm), they really don’t know much about each other’s past. 

He knows Alex’s been to prison, was in solitary for everyone’s safety. The same way Alex knows that he was a cab driver in New York. It’s the shit that everybody knows. Beyond that, Darwin really doesn’t have much background on him. To be fair though, that’s a two-way road and Darwin hasn’t been the most forthcoming with the details. 

“Did I ever tell you how I discovered my mutation?” Darwin drops. Alex glances at him and shakes his head no. “Some racist bastard tried to drown me. He ran me off the road and into the bay. Crashed my car into the water. After a few minutes, I realized that I could breath and was still alive so I got myself out and went home. My mutation allows me to adapt. So, when I say that it won’t happen again, believe me. It won’t.” It’s not his favorite memory, not by a long shot, but it’s one that he needs to share. 

The blond’s eyes are huge, reminding Darwin yet again how young he really is. Despite his time in prison, he’s still pretty damn innocent to how the real world works. It’s more than a little heartbreaking. 

“Jesus,” Alex breathes, burying his face in his hands for a minute. “How do you…” he just trails off. To be honest, Darwin can’t blame him. 

The black man shrugs, unsure if he wants to put a name to what he’s feeling. “You move on. Dwelling on it will get you killed. Take the lessons life gives you, hold on to them, and apply them later on pretty boy. Got to learn to adapt.” 

They lapse back into silence. When the older man takes a look at Alex, he sees the contemplative look on his face. “Have you, have you ever actually dealt with racism before? Like, seen it in action?” Darwin finally asks. 

Alex shakes his head no. “I lived in Alaska for a small portion of my life, and most of the people were white. And when I lived in Hawaii, it was kind of the same. There weren’t many black people where I lived. In prison, well, I spent most of my time in solitary.” 

Which is the most he’s ever said in Darwin’s presence and was all new information to him. But it made sense. He’s trying to make peace with the man so he doesn’t call him out on anything, try to make him think deeper about it. Different discussion for a different time. That being said, it’s still very enlightening. 

He reaches out and takes the younger man’s hand. Alex jumps at the initial contact but relaxes into the touch, lacing their fingers together. 

Darwin is a simple man, doesn’t want much from this life. But he knows he wants Alex, the dance they did at the CIA made it clear to him that Alex wants him too. It’s now just a matter of whether or not they can get passed _this_. 

_This_ being Alex’s weird avoidance/stalking routine he’s got going on. And his guilt complex apparently. Darwin’s already moved on and forgiven him. Now comes the hard part of trying to convince him that it’s true and that he won’t change his mind. 

“Pretty boy, Alex, we’ve already survived so much. Frost, Shaw, the CIA, Magneto. You’ve got to believe me. There’s nothing you can do to drive me away,” Darwin tells him, turning Alex’s head so that they are looking into each other’s eyes. 

He can see the younger man’s inner conflict clear as day in the fading twilight. The stars are now starting to come out but Darwin pays them no mind. They aren’t as important as the man in front of him. 

“I don’t want you to get hurt because of me again,” Alex whispers. He brings up his other hand to hold the one Darwin has on his face, eyes shut tightly. 

“Pretty boy, look at me,” he says, firm but gentle. He waits until he can see the pretty blue eyes looking into his. “There’s nothing that will keep me from you now that I’m back. I’m not going anywhere if I have anything to say about it. I want to give this a chance. If you don’t, that’s fine. I’ll back off. No harm, no foul.” He can see the worry in the blue eyes, ten times stronger than before. “But if you want to give this a chance, you gotta be all in. It’s unrealistic that neither of us will ever not hurt the other. But what’s life without a little risk?” 

Darwin takes both of his hands back. Before he can get too far though, Alex is gripping his shirt and pulling him into a kiss. For as violent as the initial action is, the act itself is far gentler. Nothing more than a press of their lips that ends as soon as it starts. Before he can say anything, Alex beats him to it. 

“I’m still scared shitless of hurting you. I’ve hurt too many people in my life. But losing you scares me more. I think, I think I still need more time to fully accept that you’ve come back but I really do want to try, to do this with you,” Alex says, all in one rush. Idly, Darwin thinks that this is the most he’s ever heard Alex say. 

As soon as the words process, Darwin nods. He laughs a little breathlessly. He was far more prepared to keep talking this out but he’s cool with this too. 

“Just let me know when you’re ready okay?” Darwin says, running his knuckles against the younger man’s clean shaven jaw line. Alex nods. 

Because he can’t quite resist, and Alex staring at his lips isn’t helping, he draws him in for another kiss. This one is more gentle, a little more real. This isn’t their first, or the second, or even the fifth. This one is the closest to perfect they’ve ever come. 

Things aren’t perfect between them. There is still so much that they need to work out, need to say, but Darwin thinks that they might just be on their way to something great.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways, it's like two am and I'm tired. I may go back through this and fix some things but for now, I'm good. Like I said, you see anything major that needs to be fixed, just let me know.


End file.
